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Choose Someone Impartial.

The personal representative and funeral representative should be someone who understands you and your wishes regarding your funeral as well as your family and property.  Your personal representative will have to resolve any ambiguities during probate and may have to mediate disputes among beneficiaries.  This should also be someone who will understand that the beneficiaries will be hurting and should not take things said to them personally or get upset themselves.

If possible, this person should be someone the proposed beneficiaries would view as impartial and fair. Lastly, make sure they are well organized, good with paperwork, and are known to file their income tax returns on time, as this role requires all of these abilities.

Outsider as Personal Representative?

Appointing someone outside of the family is an option to consider if you would prefer not to have family involved with your funeral or the administration of your estate.  However, you should understand these choices can also lead to further discontent if there is any disagreement between the outside representative and family.

Ask Permission.

Ask your Personal Representative and Funeral Representative choices whether they will serve before naming them in your will or funeral representative designation. One of the very first things you should do once you decide on a personal representative or funeral representative is to ask them whether they are willing to serve in those positions for your estate.  Your personal representative will be entitled to reasonable compensation for their time and efforts.